Concept and Choreography: Kat Brown

Performers: Kat Brown, Emily Rose Cannon, mimi doan, Tess Durham, Natalie Halady, Rush Johnston, Madeline Mellinger, Cole Stapleton, Nora Raine Thompson, Kristyn Williams

Photo and Video: Joohee Park

Presented in New York City at Center for Performance Research on December 12, 2022

Fuck it, I love You is an extension of my work with vignettes, duration and repetition. Conceptually, I’m interested in understanding how a greater depth of felt experience can be achieved through the containment of repetition. The work leans in to the ways in which transformation insists upon itself, this takes the pressure off of the idea of a narrative arc and allows the work to function through its own continuity and narrative spaciousness. The work takes on the feeling of a landscape or a softly breathing image.

The piece emerges from a tension between a desire for movement and expressivity and the lived experience of feeling freeze within the body, where motion is present but not fully available. At its core, the work is about freezing and the slow, uneven process of moving from that state. This is embodied through the layering of an internalized, involuntary shake alongside a repetitive, flowing movement that functions like a heartbeat—steady, cyclical, and grounding. These two physical states coexist, sometimes supporting one another and sometimes pulling in opposite directions. The pop song operates in a similar way: it begins with beauty and emotional immediacy, then repeats until it becomes overstimulating and excessive. Together, the movement and sound create a field where sensation builds, attention wavers, and endurance becomes the primary mode of transformation. Rather than resolving the tension, the work stays with it, allowing subtle shifts to emerge through repetition, persistence, and time.